Another Day in Rawson

So, here's to another day in my boring life which seems to be going absolutely no where. I've ran out of patience with jobs not calling me, I mean, seriously, how long does it really take to find a damn job! I've finished my one part of schooling so now I can at least do an STNA job, and still nothing! I've applied everywhere since November! Now I have even applied at being a waitress again and still no call backs from that either! What the hell is wrong here! I can't take sitting in this house another day with nothing to do or feeling like I'm not accomplishing something. We have been struggling for quite sometime and Dane never fails at making sure I realize that he is the only one paying the bills. Like, I KNOW THIS ALREADY, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REMIND ME! I FEEL BAD ENOUGH!! When will it stop! I can only take so much at feeling so small. I am on the verge of an emotional break down. It really sucks that I can't just log in here and simply write about me having a good day or that things are great. When is it my turn to feel like a good person? Like things are looking up, that life has finally turned itself around..I'm so tired, and exhausted. I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel very blessed for a few reasons, my daughters being the main one, having a home to live in, and a car to drive. Sometimes I feel bad for thinking I want more. Doesn't everyone want more in life tho? To achieve higher?
I'm gonna try to keep my hopes up..just not sure on how long that will last. I think we would be doing so much better if I was working. Relationship wise and financial wise.
That's my rants and raves of the day..hope I didn't bum anyone out..but hey..I do vent here. lol..And man oh man do I have a ton to vent!

Spring!!

Well, I haven't written in here in a while, so decided to update. Not much has changed lately..just now I have decided to just go with the flow of things and well, whatever happens...just happens!
Family and kids are doing great! Loving this great weather we're getting..well..if you wanna call in the 60's great weather..but hey..its better than getting all that damn snow we were getting back to back! I couldn't wait for that shit to finally stop!! I think at one point..we were snowed in our own home! Like 4 feet of snow drifted right in front of the front door, but hey I'm not complaining anymore..its nicer out and the snow has melted!! People say 'global warming'..uuumm..I'm not so sure of that myth. We had more snow this year than I have seen in 10 years! Seriously!
Any who, I started my spring cleaning yesterday and I'm really loving the outcome!! Wow!! My house looks immaculate! Like, I know it should all the time..lol..but hey..whats a woman to do with three daughters running around making the mess after cleaning it. Especially my 1 year old. Wow! That girl can make a mess quicker than you can blink an eye! She is always on the go! I put something in the garbage, she takes it out. I close the lid on the toilet and shut the bathroom door, she opens the door and pops up the lid..and throws my phone in the water..then tried flushing it, sweet little girl she is! lol. I sweep and mop the floors, she spills her 'spill proof' sippy cup of grape juice on the floor. Gotta love the cute little thing tho! She is such the carbon copy of Dane! Poor baby, got every attribute of him! Down to the curly locks!~! She's not gonna like that later! lol. And her blue eyes...my my, they are BIG!! Bright..and beautiful! (those are mine) lol..hey, I gotta lay claim to something don't I?
Anywho..
That's what's going on around this neck of the woods, can't wait to finally be able to pull the bike out and enjoy a nice sunny day ride!! That probably won't be til around April tho. Getting closer...yipppeee!
So, got the spring cleaning done, now only if I can finally accomplish getting a damn job already!! Geeesh! I have my app in every freaking where and not one phone call yet!! I'm getting really impatient...I'm not one who likes to sit around the house all day..some can do it..but not me..I'm too fidgety. Plus..sitting around..tends to make me think harder into things than what I should and gets me worrying about every single little thing..unnecessary.
Well, off to the gym we go...which by the way!!!! I'm doing fantastic on this whole diet weight loss thingy!! Wow..like..amazing what a diet plan and exercise can do for a person!! lol..If you actually stick to it. Yes..the weight comes off slowly..but what comes off slow..usually stays off..its what you lose fast that tends to come back plus added weight! I'm getting there..and my goal is to be where I want by summer time! So..watch out little yellow and black bikini, here I come!!