Another Day in Rawson

So, here's to another day in my boring life which seems to be going absolutely no where. I've ran out of patience with jobs not calling me, I mean, seriously, how long does it really take to find a damn job! I've finished my one part of schooling so now I can at least do an STNA job, and still nothing! I've applied everywhere since November! Now I have even applied at being a waitress again and still no call backs from that either! What the hell is wrong here! I can't take sitting in this house another day with nothing to do or feeling like I'm not accomplishing something. We have been struggling for quite sometime and Dane never fails at making sure I realize that he is the only one paying the bills. Like, I KNOW THIS ALREADY, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REMIND ME! I FEEL BAD ENOUGH!! When will it stop! I can only take so much at feeling so small. I am on the verge of an emotional break down. It really sucks that I can't just log in here and simply write about me having a good day or that things are great. When is it my turn to feel like a good person? Like things are looking up, that life has finally turned itself around..I'm so tired, and exhausted. I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel very blessed for a few reasons, my daughters being the main one, having a home to live in, and a car to drive. Sometimes I feel bad for thinking I want more. Doesn't everyone want more in life tho? To achieve higher?
I'm gonna try to keep my hopes up..just not sure on how long that will last. I think we would be doing so much better if I was working. Relationship wise and financial wise.
That's my rants and raves of the day..hope I didn't bum anyone out..but hey..I do vent here. lol..And man oh man do I have a ton to vent!