Do Men Really Ever Change?

Well I left Dane on Saturday night after he called the cops on me..which didn't turn out in his favor at all. Yes, we got into a fight over the accident. Well instead of wanting to fight, I went upstairs to lie down to get a way from it. About 15 minutes later..he was standing at our doorway of our bedroom yelling and screaming at me again..I jumped up and told him to leave me alone that I didn't want to talk. He just kept screaming at me and getting in my face..closer and closer to where he was spitting on me. At that point..out of being fed up..I started packing my shit..told him I was going to leave for a while..he came over to the closet and started taking my things out and throwing them at me saying 'here..I'll fucking help you'..and for some odd reason..he kept getting in my face trying to provoke me to hit him. I told him to get out of my face..kept telling him..at that point he was throwing hangers at me..in my face..so finally..yes..I pushed his head away from me..my ring cought his forehead. Well then he started calling the police. He told me that's what he wanted..cuz If he could get them to arrest me..then he would get Ahlora. Well I went to the bathroom to call my mom to come and get me. While I was in the bathroom he came to the door..called me a stupid fucking bitch..saying this is what I wanted..all in the mean time I'm bawling my eyes out..thinking why does he always get so mad so easily. Then I heard it..he punched the wall right outside the bathroom where I was standing. Well..then the cops show up. They took him aside and spoke to him..and I was outside smoking. The guy then came outside..saying Dane told them that he punched the wall next to me. The cop said that that is violence..and how often does Dane do this.? I'm confused at this point...what are they trying to say to me? He asked if Dane ever threatened me and things like that. I said he didn't threaten me..however..hitting things near me..he always does that. The cop then said that one day..that could end up being me. That Dane needs anger management..and such. They then asked me to write a police report on him..I refused to do that..cuz I'm thinking right at this point...where were you guys 3 years ago when I was getting the shit beat out of me? Thinking..Dane didn't even hit me..and you are this picky on him? But they kept insisting that Dane is violent..that he needs help. They wanted to take me to the womens shelter with the baby and everything..gave me Crossroads Victimes hotline numbers and what not..I'm like..what!!?? I told them no..I was crying..I love this man..are you sure he could ever end up hitting me? They were telling me that 90 percent of the time it does end up that way. Well my mom showed up and I decided to just leave and have her take me to my sisters. I stayed at my sisters Saturday night. All I could do was cry..it hurt so bad. It still does. To hear Dane speak to me the way that he did..try to provoke me to hit him just so he could get me arrested..when did we ever get like this..what went wrong? I came home yesterday..after long talking with him on the phone..agreeing to get counciling..and telling him that he needs anger management,,he knows that he has a temper. A bad one!! I've known this too..but never thought it was considered violence. I mean..why would I? I've been in 'violence'..horrible types. Yes..Dane does verbally violate ..and mentally..but never physical. I'm thinking..why me? Again?. Sometimes...I think words hurt more than bruises. Plus not to mention..Dane will even say..at least I don't beat the fuck out of you like Cory did..but you liked it tho didn't you? Is it okay for him to say those things to me? I didn't stay with Cory for 4 years because I liked it..I stayed because I felt that I loved him too much to leave. Plus the stability of my children.
I need advice..badly. I don't know what to do. My heart tells me to stay..but my mind thinks its smart to leave. And chalk this as another loss. I don't want to hurt again..I fear that more than anything. Should I try the counciling with him? Or do they really ever change?